Speculations on Gender

In sociology classes we get these lectures on feminism, and so much of it I think 'bullshit, that's rubbish'. A lot of it I honestly can't see, or if I can see then I can think of an equal argument for discrimination against men. I think you have to be careful with feminism, because people tend to see it everywhere and it's easy to make tenuous links. But sometimes, I wish I hadn't been born female, and I have to wonder why that is. Maybe part of it is that men are naturally, physically stronger, but then I don't think that's everything. Part of it is poetry. When I think of poetry, I think of men. A lot of people see it as a feminine activity but I've always seen it as masculine, and sometimes I feel like a poet with a woman's name wouldn't be taken as seriously, which may or may not be total rubbish, but it's just a thought, and when being objective about these things, you have to at least take subjective feeling into account.

Emotion, as well, I feel is somehow less when it's female emotion. Women are expected to cry, to display their feelings, and I don't really do that, but when I do I feel like I'm being 'girly' and that my feelings would somehow mean less. When I'm writing characters as well, I focus on male protagonist and antagonists because their emotions are more interesting to me. I feel that whatever female character I may write would end up seeming weak and not a little pathetic, and then if they didn't display their emotion it'd seem like I was trying too hard to make them more masculine.

I'm not sure if I think men and women are unequal in society, but I do think that the gender divide makes things difficult and confusing, and in popular culture that divide just keeps getting wider even though differences in opportunity are narrowing. Men are objectified just as much as women in society, but I guess when you're female it's easier to see the objectification and exploitation of women. I don't really think that exploitation is there anymore, and society is increasingly less patriarchal, although it's mostly men in charge, I don't think that really shows anything significant. It's gonna take a while for women to get into positions of power because it's to do with socialisation and they have to work their way up there. You wouldn't want a woman in charge just because she was a woman if she wasn't competent at her job.

I never used to see myself as feminist, I would have called myself a 'masculinist', because I always hated how people could say things like 'men are only thinking of one thing' and 'men are all pigs' and then moan about the marginalisation of women and how we're viewed negatively by men (and thinking about it, why should women be defined by how men see them?) But recently I've realised that feminist and masculinist means, or at least should mean the same thing, so I could say that I'm a feminist too, because it's about equality and the study of gender differences. I might not make 'studies' of it, but it's one of the things I think about, although I don't mention it much in conversation because feminism has a bad press, and when you start talking about it it makes you seem like a twat, even though it's a 'big issue' in society and these points are perfectly valid points to make.